Such a tough week

It has been a very difficult week. Starting with church on Sunday. I went because Ashley was going to be singing a song that she wrote. But it was just so hard to have Linda F. sitting in the chair right in front of me. Yes, I admit, I did give her a look that shot arrows through her torso and heart when she looked at me. Might not be so nice of me, but trust me, that lady behaves like a whore in church and she best leave my daughter alone. using Ashley to get to Pat just makes me.......well.....the English temper does fly................
Then mom and dad came over and that was nice...settled me down a bit.
Monday started a week from hell at work. Meetings with the commissioners, an investigation, the union, oh man. It has been awful. I am not allowed to talk about any of it to anyone..(I do talk to my co-worker since she is also involved). But if it continues, my life on the job will be worse than it is now. So stomach in knots all week, lots of tantrums from the boss and lies, meetings with the upper ups, worries about my job and Annes..............
And dealing with the disasters that upset a small town. Deaths of people who have been here forever. Reports of those we love who have been diagnosed with terminal illnesses. Accidents that have claimed the lives of those who we love. Shock. Lack of Understanding. Why so much heartache in so little time? in a months time we have lost not just the old people but so many young ones. So many. And then the divorces and affairs.
So this week I have had some pretty stressful times, where I just have to take a deep breath and remember God is in control, but he won't always control. He will allow disasters and consequenses of our choices. But he is still IN control. He allows as he sees fit. He allows because He sees the bigger picture. So I just hold on for the ride and take a deep breath. Ok, sometimes I do have a screaming tantrum..........But God is good. He might be covering his ears................but he is faithful.