Catching up

Wow...I can't believe it has been so long since I have written in my blog! So much has been happening in my life, some more important than others. Some more confusing than others. Some irritating, some happy, some exhausting, some peaceful...I have a mix of everything, which I am sure must keep me well balanced...on the edge. As the little sign next to my desk says "I'll have a Cafe-Mocha-Vodka-Valium Latte to go please...!
I have a new grandsonI Babies are such miracles from God. They are so precious and Elijah Justice is perfect in every way. I am quite certain of that. I need to go visit him! Seems like all I do is work and grandma is neglecting to get over there and spoil him!

Everything else in my life is still being thought out with little accomplished in the "done" department. I find each day that I am such a different person than I was even a year ago. I was surprised to discover a vengeful part of myself last week. A "you hurt me and I will get even" part of me. And indeed I did get even a little...I believe more to re-build my own self esteem after having it shattered than to hurt them, but a little to both I guess. Yet I was shocked as I self analyzed (with a brownie and a diet coke..such an oxymoron) to discover what kind of person I was becoming and to what ends I would stoop to just to build myself up. I am glad I caught it and the reasoning behind it before I truly hurt someone I care about. However, I am not certain that I have anything mastered, so no applause yet. I will probably at least kick someone in the shins.

I find the busy summer months keep me from doing the things I enjoy most and so I long for the peaceful days of autumn. I am most happy during the autumn months. I refect a lot during autumn and seem to find peace I am unable to find at any other time of the year. So as I suffer through the heat of summer, my longing is for September and the inner joy that comes naturally with it. I have always felt closer to God during that time. Maybe it is because everything is dying. Hmmmmm.....well enough about that.

Eric and Ashley are keeping themselves busy. Eric is moving in a couple of weeks to attend a culinary school. How did I ever get a child that loves to cook? I do not like cooking at all. Actually I like to bake, but do that very seldom anymore. Ashley is busy with her band, Wake Up Jane. They are in process of recording their first cd so every Monday they go to a professional studio and work on it. They also have several gigs lined up including 2 youth conferences, a jazz concert with a professional jazz band from New York, and Octoberfest in Athena. They have also ordered t-shirts. As long as she is having a good time, I can roll like this. All of my kids have made me so proud!

The house still has not sold and I hope it will soon. I feel that restlessness, the need to move away from Wallowa county, often. Something to pray about and think about I guess. Life feels very uncertain right now, so many changes that could happen in the blink of an eye. Perhaps too many options. But for now I will just set my rear down and do what I do every day.